World vs. Us

    We often like to complain, blog, cry about the world pressuring us, and yeah it is really freakin' hard. Our environment shapes us unmistakably. And some not so good people are mixed in with the okay and cool ones that are influencing us and our culture.  
    We grow up being lead by those and many lead out of fear. Fear we'll fail, fear we won't make it, fear we are too naive. But you can't lead from a place of recognizing, calling out and affirming identity, and being afraid. If you see the violence of the beauty of ones true self, and you are pointing them towards that and believing in who they truly are, then there is no fear. But we don't always get to decide our parents, coaches, teaches etc. 
    But then you reach adulthood, and guess what, you have choices. Every day, to be powerful. To take authority over and ownership of your life. And yes, the world may be pressuring you to look a certain way, be cultured, be successful, all of which are relative by the way, and you get to choose what you put yourself around. Fill your mind and heart with. So yes, you get to decide what your world around you is, what you're going to recreate and what is speaking to you: magazines, art, the internet, speakers etc. But no one gets to decide what you believe about yourself. What you agree with, what you accept, what you empower, what you welcome. The end.

NYC / BULGARIA!

Hello all!
    Excited to announce I will be headed to New York and Bulgaria this coming March 19-29!

About 
    I will be joining Georgian & Winnie Banov on a trip of lifetime as I journey with them to NYC & Bulgaria. The trip will start off with an outreach in NYC to celebrate the 3rd Annual United Nation’s Holiday: The International Day of Happiness. Celebratory outreaches will take place on Madison Avenue, at the UN building, in Central Park and various other locations through the city. The core value of this holiday is “you are worth more then what you can produce” These are the values of Jesus, so we are going to NYC to show the world what everlasting happiness truly is. 
    In Bulgaria, we will get the opportunity to be the literal arms & feet of Jesus to the most rejected people group in Eastern Europe - the Gypsies. The Gypsy slums and ramshackle neighborhoods provide the perfect setting for wild, personal and affectionate ministry. Unlike the stereotypes held about them, they are some of the warmest and most loving people one has ever met. With hungry hearts, they are responding to the outpouring of the Holy Spirit. Being the poorest of the poor they do not have a “reputation” to lose, and therefore are not ashamed to let themselves get lost in worship, or of the manifestations of the Holy Spirit. Miracles and ministry opportunities take place in an intense environment of celebration and worship to the King of Kings, resulting in entire neighborhoods and communities that are being changed forever. On this life changing and unique trip, our team from BSSM will join the Banovs as they as they take a lively journey and travel through the Bulgaria hillside to various Gypsy camps. This is a bold & festive ministry styled trip. I am prepared to dance with the Gypsies for hours, fill my arms with their happy children, and see Heaven invade their lives as Jesus loves them through us.

To get a taste of the style of this trip, check out the video below: http://vimeo.com/25237851 

" The heart and passion of the Bethel Mission Trips Department is to see the sons and

daughters of God in all the nations awaken to His goodness and love. As children of Heaven,

we have access to His Kingdom and demonstrate His love, glory, and power in all aspects of

society. Our strategy is to raise up a generation of world changers in their own nations to

begin to run with their God-given inheritance to bring heaven to earth and transform their

nation. This trip, through Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry (BSSM), ultimately reflects

the vision of the Bethel Mission Trips Department."

Why do I want to go on this trip?
   When we were picking our trips for the year, I was overwhelmed, and told God "I don't know which to pick, I feel like it doesn't make sense for me to go on any of these because I don't feel "called" to another country." And He simply said "Pick ones that excite you." So I proceeded to read over 70+ trip descriptions. The only one that excited me upon reading was this trip, which is funny because last year I declared I would never go on a trip with the Banovs. They freaked me out. This trip is out of my comfort zone in different aspects than most would say for a missions trip.  I'm on a journey of learning to be a daughter, and a huge part of that is having fun. God has time and time again told me to choose and do things out of fun this year. So this makes sense. Raising money for this trip honestly scares me because of the cost. But I am risking and asking others to believe with me! We regret the risks we don't take, and any bit of stepping into something out of our comfort is a new way of God coming in creatively and expanding that zone as we experience more of Him in that place, grabbing hold His invitation into deeper intimacy with Him. Everything He does is to bring us closer. 
AND I WANT TO HOLD AND LOVE GYPSIES!!! 

Support     What I am asking is that you would consider partnering with me in prayer into this trip, and if feeling led, to give financially towards this trip. I need to raise a total of $3,250.00. I've been empowered to empower, freed to bring others into freedom, and carry my own breakthroughs and powerful testimony and the power of Jesus Christ to unleash to the world. We believe in and expect to see miracles, signs and wonders, as our good Father embraces and lavishes His affectionate love upon His children on this trip amongst many.  
This is an incredible opportunity to take part in sowing into what God is doing now in our generation, to sow into His plan for a culture, a nation, a family, His heart!

Most of all, thank you for taking the care to read this! I appreciate and value you. Truly, truly from the bottom of my heart. 

Please feel free to contact me with any questions Facebook or email: sooallisonhoo@gmail.com

To give towards this trip, follow the link and search my name, 
"Allison SooHoo"
and select my Bulgaria trip. 
https://trips.ibethel.org/search

This gift is tax-deductible and you will receive a statement at the end of the year for your tax records. If

you wish your gift to be anonymous, please check the anonymous box. This will allow you

to receive an end of year statement, but will not allow the student to see your name. This

is a non-refundable donation to the Bethel Church Missions Department for the benefit of

the trip specified. If for any reason a team member or team does not go, unused gifts will

support another mission trip sponsored by Bethel Church.

(If online payment is not an option, check donations can be made payable to Bethel Church

and mailed to the following address: Bethel Mission Trips Department, 915 Twin View Blvd.,

Redding, CA 96003. Please include a note with the donation designating which student’s trip

you are supporting.)

Xoxo,
Allie

"Time for Stillness."

" Stop trying to fix you

Stop trying to control your heart

Stop being insincere

Acting out of futile desperation

fear instead of love.

Stop the abuse

Stop the fire

Wage war on war

and stop fighting

Lie. Just sit and lie down

Baby

Baby girl

Stop

Listen to your breathing as it slows.

Listen

Are you listening?

It’s the same air of a child

Going in and out through your lungs

You have permission to be just this

A baby

Baby girl

Precious

Holy

Perfect

Intricate

Delicate

Dainty

Weak

You have permission

to need

to just lie for a while and watch

to be a baby

to be

Baby girl, guess what!

I’ve got news!

Do your ears hear,

Are you leaning in?

You’ve already got the keys to the kingdom

Your king your dear your daddy has won them for you

And he’s come to unlock your heart

You need only to be still.

Still.

Picture the ocean.

Picture the waves,

Still.

No storm

No clouds

Just peace

Stillness

Steadiness

Quietness

Let it speak to your heart

Just sit

Sit a while won’t you?

Do this for you, won’t you? "

The message I felt Him speaking 9/27 11:30pm.

Summer Lessons

The lessons this summer were plenty. A huge fear in the area of creativity was met head on, breakthroughs came, and the Lord was faithful to His promises.

-I learned to steward things specifically work-wise, as if I am investing in my future career. And had plenty of opportunity to develope my own personal work ethic, and how I wanted to respond in attitude, action etc. in tough times, where character is usually built and exposed.
-I am moving back to Redding this late summer, with high hopes, expectations and excitement.

xoxo,
Allie

Sharing today

I constantly ask "How am I to live my life" 

Addressing this, He transitions my process so sweetly and shows me a picture once again, of how He sees me, and how deeply. I am laying in a grass field with yellow daisies resting on the outline of my body. My arms in the position of full comfort, pleasure, embrace. My heart makes an exchange with the reality of this picture. Speaking to my soul, He shows how He sees the deep things I feel and see as I sit and ponder, as I often do, and meets me in the degree I see myself. I start to weep.

Then He addresses all my hours of untamed questions with this saturated enamored passion-filled embrace, reassuring me with all care and willing desire to, 

The fundamental absolutely unavoidable aspect of all that I've chosen to live my life by - to love, and live in community purity and power -  the whole point that they reveal and revolve around - "Being with me." He replied. He speaks not with words but from His spirit to mine, "It was all so we could be together and enjoy one another. And we've unlocked living that now. That is now. All of those other things that are "supposed to happen" are just a result of being with Me. "

When I start to put more weight on acting correctly than being with Him and enjoying Him, I fall into religion.

I must stay close.

I have come back to this question far too often, when I feel I'm not enough, or start telling myself "you should be doing this", or giving myself any unkind form of "you're not enough"
He tells me to pour compassion upon myself. To be so kind. In love He urges so deeply to be kind. And treat myself as He would the girl I am trying to encourage into the fullness I see for her, but that's not how He does it, He does it by lavishing His love, His enjoyment, favor, fun, light, grace, beauty, joy, identity, freedom on me. I should only do the same. That is how you spur one to reach their full potential, not shame or judgement. I do not see in full, and I need His eyes, I need His reality to overtake mine.

Allie, I apologize to you today, and repent for not loving to full who He has crowned redeemed and made in unique His likeness and pleasure, and given to me one of the greatest blessings of stewarding, a revelation, child and destined daughter of God.

Closing reminders to self:

-My loyalty to love myself is demonstrated when I fail.
-Nothing is worth punishing myself.
-I have committed to pursuing how He responds to me, and learn from Love how to treat myself.
-Math: "I am > (problem I am facing)"
 I will not choose to give life, authority or power to ________.
-It's incredibly hard to be hopeless in His presence.
-Honoring who the King is through how to you respond to the external world.

Reminders of self:
-I am a walking revelation of who He is.
-He is always available to me. 
-How does a child enter the throne room?
-No one can take what you have together away.

18 I am the living one. I died, but look—I am alive forever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and the grave.[a]    - Revelation 1:18

Self-Expression

    Been reveling in the wonder of self-expression lately. 

It started when I was struck unexpectedly one day while driving with heaviness, distraught anger and disgusted by the crude, fowl, insulting injustice that anyone could say or make claim that forms of honest true natural self-expression God could be against.  God is the most self-expressing being there ever was, is, and will ever be. He is not only the poster-guy, biggest fan, soccer mom, coach, alumni, mvp, shall I go on?

How dare anything hold back or limit His image, by speaking to those made in it, that is is against His will. 

    I think about my need for self-expression, about how I’m constantly faced with having to push on past fear of failure and rejection, screw perfectionism, and risk, out of my passionate hungering need to pour myself out, louder, higher, brighter, excessively, strenuously. Like I have to, it’s against my being not to keep expanding. Like depriving such a vast part of myself life. A part that pours out revelation of the glory, beauty, divinity, purity, understanding of God. 

    Every person has something beautiful to be expressed through them that only they can, whether it be words that are short and few, packed with power wrapped in the strings of years of pursuing humility, fighting, living, breathing, seeing a brighter day. Or it’s making clocks, kites, pictures, sounds, smells. Being inventive, innovative, being inspired and building off of success to breathe more life to the world. 
    We've all been personally impacted by something someone has made. 

I think about what inspires me, when I hear a song, or see someone play an instrument through their heart, how I feel I can’t breathe all of a sudden and if I don’t release something of myself in response I’ll explode or suppress the notions of my own heart to answer back. 

Creativity breathes creativity. Birthed life sent out, an invitation and message to do it again.  

I stumble trying to find words to describe what I mean, but it's like a breath being passed on, growing in momentum. Hang with me, we’re all created with a need to birth something, to bring out the inner deepest most intimate parts of us, and let them be known. And it must be because we’re designed to be known. And we wouldn’t be given a desire if it wasn’t destined to be fulfilled, (-someone wise recently reminded me.)

    How beautiful that no matter how scary, messed up, old, raw, different, out of the ordinary it is that this thing, this need to express is, we still make every effort to get it out. Whether it be through mustering up words, or movement across a stage. We crave to outpour our inner-most beings, and have it be grasped, understood, appreciated, cherished, loved. We want to captivate with what captivates us, and be known as we release it. The life, the questioning, the child, the curious, the hungering, the tortured, the sad, the power, the hope, the Heaven in us. 
And we risk, get applauded, burned, ignored, overlooked, passed by.But it is all seen. I can promise you that. (start by reading Psalm 139.)
I believe life is just one colossal profound unending encounter with God, and that is the lens I live through every day. Why do you think He made trees, people, life's riddles, a man's hearty chuckle, animals, the ocean, YOU. (Discovering you is discovering so much of Him. A topic for later.) 
 So my friend, you were made to express, and not hold back. Self-expression at it's purest, yielding, most vulnerable, is an encounter with God. 
And the result, it drives out limitation, fear and performance.
And it is these things in it's multiplying form. Inspiration. Hope. Passion.

And I’m left at the end trails of my thoughts for now with, 

-"What would a fully expressed life look like?"

Parting advice:

-It doesn't have to look like what example: "Allie normally does."

-It's not ______'s thing. It's a gift. And it's a never ending supply. And there's more than enough to be accessed, and it will look completely different through you.

-No it's not dumb.

-Because people don't understand does not mean you should stop or it's bad. If it brings you life, do not deprive yourself of it. 

-It is irrelevant if you think someone is better. You are still enough. And you don't get to decide you're not. 

-Be more afraid of not than the unknown result. 
-You don't have to be the best. Just be you. 
-You are loved unconditionally, worth the same before and after, and accepted regardless of if you did it while juggling pancakes on top of an elephant
-Just say "yes." That's always a good start and step in the right direction. 
-You're going to kill it. And I believe in you and celebrate you. 

May 11, 2,014 reasons why I'm blessed because of you.

Today marks quite the days. A year ago today I was full of heavy heart with desires that felt more like burdens as I walked with my best friend for hours and just talked with adored His presence. Later that day a moment He would lead me into would change everything as I would discover and apply for BSSM within the same period of time. Amazing that the gentlest of leadings pointed me towards what has completely altered the state and direction of my life forever. I would hate to live another moment without what I've gained, and I am forever grateful. 

    It's also mothers Day. Oh how I love mothers! They represent such a beautiful critically vital part of the heart of God. I have been drenched I love and investment by so many mothers in my life. Irene Ingham, whom I affectionately call Momma Ing, is by far one of the most inspiring mothers I have ever met. Her story perseverance and way she fights for the peace and advance of her family is dangerous. She has taught me how to be assertive, spoken into who I am and held a mirror up to see how wonderful I am. I have loved every car ride, hours of conversation and dinner shared. You have blessed me with your love, covering and coffee! (I cried the first time you ever did that, by the way.) Kuchen Glazier, Momma G, one who I love to tell people about! Her story and walk is so inspiring and hope breathing. It is such a heavy testing of the how far and creatively to the ends of the earth God will go for us, and the way I have even seen her grow has brought me so much life and joy. She has made me feel so seen, thought about and cared for. In practical every day ways you have given me so many kisses from my Father that have changed my life! It is so amazing to know ill always have a home with you, and be loved and celebrated. Jeanine Newman is another woman who has heavily impacted me. She carries ridiculous amounts of comfort, peace, sensitivity and love. It has brought me to tears on many occasions how moved I've been for the safe place she has provided for me to grow and be heard. I love to watch the way she loves her kids, and am struck by her radiance, elegance and character in the way she passionately loves and pours out what's she's been given in her own heart to all.

Dianne Hawkins, all my life I don't know if I've known of someone who has appreciated me and people like you. The way she has fought for her heart, for the sake of not only herself but kids, is a transformational testimony that brings a dangerous amount of freedom, grace for ones self, and newness. The ways she has encouraged me in who I am and what she's seen in me has changed me. Feeling understood in the ways I do by you has changed me. And there are things you have spoken to me no mother has and it has impacted me forever. 

My own mom, Maureen Marcello, I've never known a woman of more sacrifice, perseverance and deserving. She has every day of her life fought, and I'm in tears over what she has overcome so that my brother and I could have an inheritance, and what she's cultivating is so much richer than she knows and could have been if it had all been easy. She was fighting for a legacy bigger than all of us even before she knew, and I honor and recognize that in full. I would not have made it through this far without her. In so many moments she was the only thing keeping me safe, the only one letting me be broken, and meeting me where I was at when no one else saw or understood but us. She is the definition of pressing on and not getting hung up on the things that happen to us. She works too hard and doesn't get enough back. Some of my biggest prayers have been claiming redemption in her life living in the full promise of what He intended, not what has happened. She has so much to offer this world, she fights for not just us but has for hundreds of kids whom even their own parents have given up on or lost hope for. She speaks life and destiny into them and they hear her, she changes lives by choosing just to keep getting up in the morning and I am so proud of her. I don't know if I could do what she does with so much grace and patience. She needs an award or something. Or a cape. Because she is a super hero.

All of these women are amazing mothers to so many. So so many. Their legacy I take with me, and build up from. I have been so impacted under the weight of His glory and steadfastness these people in my life carry. They're evidence I've known nothing but His best.

Thank you moms. On behalf of all your children.